I'm Fine, I'm Fine

Jackson here. I appreciate all the concern. Really, I do. But as I've been telling everyone throughout my entire life: I'm FINE. So stop asking me how I'm feeling... and making me take medicine... And, while we're at it, no more cutting my toe nails. I hate that.

For those of you who don't know, I spent a little time in the hospital last week. The doctors - I don't like 'em anymore and I know longer want to be one - couldn't figure out if I had scarlet fever or something called Kawasaki's disease. So, get this, the geniuses decided to treat me for both. Antibiotics. Needles in my arm. Leeches. The whole shebang.

It wasn't all bad, though. Turns out, the hospital has a TV, and on that TV, they have channel 76, which is HGTV. For about 20 hours, it was non-stop Designed To Sell and House Hunters, with a little PBS Kids thrown in. If it wasn't for the jug of IV immuno globulin attached to me for 10 hours and the 200 medical students/residents/teenage wonder doctors trecking into my room every 15 minutes, it would have been OK.

Speaking of doctors-in-training, I developed a fun game to play in-between commercials during Design On A Dime. Here's how it goes: While a medical student or resident is examining me, I say one of the following:

- "The last medical student in here said you're not doing so well. In fact, they're all talking about it. Are you sure you really want to be a doctor?"

- "My Dad just stuffed one of the hospital's pillows in my overnight bag. Can you get security up here?

- "Rickets runs in my family. Can I have some lemonade?"

- "Give you a dollar if you can find my 11th toe. Here's a hint: it's not on either foot."

- "The tie isn't fooling anyone, Doogie. I'm 5 and I can tell you have no clue what's going on."

- "There are three chicken nuggets on my plate. I dropped two of them on the floor of the bathroom. If you eat one, and it's the clean one, I'll tell the attending you're the best doctor who's examined me all day."

- "Have any of you guys ever thought about going into interior design? Because this Lisa Laporta is a moron. I'll bet you could have her job."

See, isn't that fun? The hospital isn't all that bad.